TX4P contibutor Ian Ransom has been toiling over the cauldron to brew up a Halloween horror which ought to scare the living nightlights out of us flyover folk. Ian's recipie remains a closely guarded secret, but we suspect that three of the many icky ingredients which went into the steaming stew are Oil of Obama (made from arugula grown in Michelle's White House garden!), Eye of Newt and Brain of Biden.
If this don't creep ya' out pilgrim, then you're just an ol' Limousin liberal. Moo! So lock the doors, grab some garlic and brace yourselves for our fright night delight. Boo!
- JP
An All Hallow's Eve of Horrors
- By Ian Ransom
Spooks and all things that go bump in the night
have nothing on me, kids, in sheer terms of fright!
One look at my face and you'll turn into stone;
my crone-fangs will gnaw your limbs straight to the bone!
My breath is a venom, my spit is like acid.
My nose is a wart-fest, all drooping and flaccid.
Upon an old dust-mop I fly through the air;
My spellbook of horror? The Bill of Health Care!
My sisters and I shall soon take to the skies.
We'll cackle and swoop as we buzz you like flies!
So make no mistake, we're the worst hags around.
It would take Sarah Palin to shoot us all down!
On Kathleen Sebelius! On vile Maureen Dowd!
On, Maddow and Huffington--witches most proud!
And woe to the poor soul that chances to meet us;
We'll boil him in oil (like we would with a foetus)!
We're a coven of doom, we're a grouping of ghouls.
We're a man-eating gaggle of liberal fools!
Thus travel with care, if you know what I mean,
'cause I'm Nancy Pelosi...and tonight's HALLOWEEN!
- Ian
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