New York Mag Sees Palin Under Bed at Night

-By Warner Todd Huston
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New York Magazine is so afraid of Palin that it cannot help but imagine grand, wild conspiracy theories even in her choice of New York restaurants. Seriously.

The now ex-guv was in New York this week to meet with her publisher and decided to take a little time from business for a nice dinner at the well known eatery Michaels. The restaurant is a hang out for denizens of the publishing industry so it might seem a natural thing that her publisher would take her to a place where publishers hang out… right?

Not according to New York Magazine. To the scandal inventors of this rag, Palin could only have ulterior motives for daring to go to a restaurant that serves as a hang out for journalists.

Guess she just couldn’t have been hungry, right?

So, here’s what this fool added to New York Mag’s webpage today:

According to a Facebook status update on behalf of the restaurant, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin is here in New York and dined at Michael's last night. She's in town to visit with her publisher, HarperCollins, and has been doing "fun kids things" during her stay here with her family. It all sounds innocent enough, except for the Michael's part. Michael's is not only a Northeastern elite power-lunching spot, it is the very epicenter of the liberal media — the very men, women, and reporters who are out to get her. What on earth could have led her to eat there? The place doesn't even serve anything that a real American would actually eat! ("Miso-glazed Scottish wild salmon with braised bok choy, shiitake mushrooms, coconut reduction"?? That menu item reads like a "f___ you" to the entire state of Alaska.) It would be like Bill O'Reilly having dinner in Provincetown, or one of the Clintons having dinner in Pyongyang (well, you know what we mean). There must have been some nefarious intent. Arianna, Tina, Arthur, and Graydon — we'd advise you to take a sniff of that Cobb salad before you plunge in today.

Yeah, all Alaskans are knuckle dragging, halfwits that have no interest in haute cuisine and eat roadkill all day.

How much you wanna bet that Chris Rovzar and his life partner scare their adopted Chinese toddler with nighttime tales of Palin monsters under the bed just to keep the tot in line?

- WTH