Saturday, April 11, 2009

O brother, what art thou?

Breaking news! It seems that Todd Palin not only has a half-sister, but he also has another half-sibling - a half-brother named Samson Palin. The First Dude's half-sister Diana, you may recall, was recently arrested for breaking into a house in Wasilla for the second time this week to steal money. You can go to Celtic Diva's blog and read all about it. You will find it as an update to the Levi/Bristol exploitation post under the mocking title "Palin Family Values" - with the professional Palin-hatin' diva's take on it:
Karma has a sense of humor, no?
Wow, just wait until she learns about this latest Palin problem! She and her posse are going to have a field day with it. Todd's other half-sibling has been accused of something so vile... so perverse... that it spells certain doom for Gov. Palin's political future.

As Karma would have it, Todd's half-bro Sampson was refused entry to Britain after reportedly being accused of an attempted sex attack on a 13-year-old girl on his last visit. Samson was denied a visa by UK authorities because he had previously been arrested by the cops in Berkshire after approaching a group of young girls, including a 13 year-old, and allegedly trying to sexually assault one of them.

He then followed the girls into a cafe where he became aggressive and was asked to leave by the owner. Police were called, and Samson was arrested. He reportedly gave officers phony identification information - an apparent attempt to conceal his relationship to the governor's husb...

Oh, wait.

I see I have made a critical error in my reading of this disturbing news. The perverted perp's name isn't Samson Palin. It's Samson Obama. And Sicko Samson is not Todd Palin's half-brother. He is Barack Obama's half-brother. The President of the United States, leader of the Free World and Hero of the Blue Diva and her Palin-mocking crew, has a half-brother who has a thing for 13-year-old girls and can't keep his filthy hands off of them.

So it seems that Irony, like Karma, has a sense of humor, no? Those superior souls who hang out at Diva's Oasis, where the pool is always full of blue Kool-Aid, won't notice. They will have their hands over their ears, shouting, "I can't hear you!" Exploitation of teenagers for political purposes must be a leftist family value, just as burglary must be a much more heinous crime than the attempted sexual assault of a child.

So I'm terribly sorry for the mistake. My bad. Nothing to see here folks. "These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along. Move along..."

- JP

2 comments:

  1. Josh, may I reprint at Libertarian Republican? This is a brillant piece of satyre.

    email me at ericdondero@yahoo.com if okay.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eric, you've got mail...

    Thanks,

    - JP

    ReplyDelete